Dear Aunt Gabby, please tell the ladies to stop with the tattoos!

I find lots of tattoos on women really trashy. Will you tell women to please stop doing it?

Dear Aunt Gabby,

I have 4 tattoos that look great! But, I find lots of tattoos on women really trashy. Will you tell women to please stop doing it? I speak for all men when I say classy women do not have tattoos. Do girls find men with tattoos a turnoff?

—I am Grossed Out in Glenpool

Dear Glen,

I am old enough to remember when “nice women” didn’t pierce their ears. “Gypsies” or poor people might, but not “ladies.” Most women didn’t wear pants, either.

Fast forward 50 years (like I do every day) and senators, ministers, lawyers, and doctors all have pierced ears and wear slacks all the time. And many of them have tattoos. You may not know it.

I have 2 myself! One is a tiny heart with a needle and thread poked through it. It is not visible most of the time. Another is a “cartoon” of my first granddaughter as a mermaid. Both of them were done by my son, who was a tattoo artist while he finished college.

Funny, I don’t feel trashy.

I also know that some people get “addicted” to the thrill of getting tattooed or want to cover their whole body with designs. Again, they didn’t ask me. I have enough to do making my own decisions, don’t you?

If tattooed women turn you off, I suggest you don’t meet women in bars or biker rallies but try the royal family or the yacht club. You’ll find a few there, too.

I think you may have trouble with tattooed women, anyway (maybe, women in general, since you seem judgmental, controlling, and just a tad misogynistic). The tattooed tend to care less what other people think of their choices. After all, these people are at least 18 years old. Tattoos hurt, and cost a lot of money, and most women (and men) like their tattoos a lot. They want the approval of their buddies, not you.

As for women finding tattooed men attractive, try asking. And ask her if she has one, so you can save yourself time and money dating. Don’t date anyone you think is trashy.

—Your Tattooed Auntie

Dear Aunt Gabby,

My step-daughter, Clarissa, is getting married, but she’s refusing to seat her dad and me together. I wanted to help plan the wedding, but she’s refused my help. She got mad at me after I suggested having a sign language interpreter would be distracting. She is deaf, and her fiancé’s dad is, too.

Yesterday, she informed me that I cannot sit at the bride’s table with her dad. Is it fair to split up married couples at weddings? Her fiancé’s mother and dad will be at the bride’s table with Clarissa’s mother.

Claiming there’s no room, she’s refusing to even consider revising the seating chart and has even told her dad that she’ll uninvite both of us, if I keep “butting in.” He is giving her away.

My husband told me to drop it.

I am very upset! I don’t want my husband to sit next to his ex and let people think that they’re still together. What should I do?

—Steaming in Sapulpa

Dear Steamy,

I guess you missed the show on “Bridezilla” that covered this dilemma, huh?
Here is what you should do: Remember that this day is the bride’s (and groom’s) day. It is not supposed to be the way you want. (Yes, I think she is being unfair, childish, and mean.)

Swallow hard, since pride is hard to get down in cases like this.

Next, “Butt out” and “drop it.”

Glue on a big smile and say, “Whatever you like, sweetheart.” Practice in the mirror until you can “fake sincerity.”

Stop offering to help, stop giving any advice, be a good sport and allow this bride to have her day and her drama without your adding to it. Sit wherever she tells you.

Don’t take it out on your husband. Make him proud. Wink at him, blow him kisses, or remind him to “dance with the one that brung you.” Together, you two can get through this day and have good memories for the rest of your lives together, if you let go and stop worrying about fairness, customs, and what the neighbors will think.

—Aunt Gabby

About the Author

  • Avatar Cynthia says:

    You go girl. Glen is controlling, misogynistic and judgmental. Thank you for pointing that out to him.

  • >