Contributed by Missy Fox Thompson
Mom Fact: I may have driven past the Golden Arches multiple times in my sweet nugget-loving boys’ lives, and said they were closed. When my boys would ask “why are there cars parked in the lot?” My answer would be “that’s the cleaning crews’ cars.”
Mom Fact: I may have had a discussion with the angst-filled teen tonight. I may have stuffed my face with chocolate chips and devoured a few spoonfuls of peanut butter after our talk. Raising teens requires chocolate on hand at all times. Peanut butter is counted as a protein. Right?
Mom Fact: I can really stink sometimes in doing the Mom job. I sometimes forget that I need to speak in my inside voice.
Mom Fact: I also occasionally rock the Mom job outta the park.
Mom Fact: Exhaustion is just part of the Mom life. Caffeine-filled fizzy drinks, Espresso, Lattes covered in whipped cream and sprinkles that cost eight bucks are also part of the Mom life.
Mom Fact: I own more wrinkle creams than I own loaves of bread. I also own more coffee cups than sippy cups. The bathroom is my office and it’s ok to have multiple meetings a day. Alone.
Mom Fact: Musicals are not heard or seen on the big screen in our family. Our musicals are burp and toot contests that are always happening in our home.
Mom Fact: There is always laundry to be done and it takes the bravest of souls to clean out the pockets of three boys’ pants. A word of wisdom: squeeze the pockets before putting your hand in them. Crickets are a bit terrifying to pull out of said pockets and when you find them unexpectedly you might use ALL your good words at once.
Mom Fact: Sickness, you are only down for the count when you ain’t got no kids. Moms keep on momming, just stuff some tissue up your nose and straight chug that Pepto bottle. We have world-changers to raise and someone’s got to keep them from sticking forks in light sockets.
Mom Fact: You will eat spaghetti and meatballs every week. You will have Jello cups and Goldfish crackers on hand at all times. You will never finish a meal while it’s hot. Ranch dressing and ketchup should come by the gallon. French fries are life and for the love don’t let any food item touch its neighboring food. Ever. Really, ever.
Mom Fact: Remember the sniff test you did with your clothes in college? Those skills will get you far in the mom world.
Mom Fact: You will spend as much a month on groceries as you would spend on an all-inclusive trip to Mexico for two.
Mom Fact: You will basically be a snot rag, booger-picker, bank, cabbie, and personal shopper for the next 18 years.
Mom Fact: You will survive. You will call these years the best. You will be proud of the nose-pickers you have raised into cool humans. These will absolutely be the years that define you and made you into the lovely nut you are.
The days will be long, but the years will be short. You will look back in wonder and ask, “how in the world did we do this?” You will beg God to never let you lose the memories that roam in your exhausted head. You will close your eyes and remember the sweet smell of the newborn’s neck, you will see the first steps across the living room, the bicycle being so proudly peddled, the first soccer goal, the first heartbreak, and the senior pictures that show a grown(ish) boy.
Mom fact: we were made for this job.
