New kitten should get spayed, new friends should get lost



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Dear Aunt Gabby,

My mom got me a kitten for Christmas. She is so pretty and very fluffy. She is almost old enough to get spayed, but I don’t want to do that to her, anyway. I want to let her have some kittens since she is so pretty, and I think it is mean to do that.

What can I tell my mom when she asks me again to get an appointment for her?

Lucy’s Human Friend

Dear Human,

I am sure you love her and that she is very pretty. I love cats, too. I have one named Pandora. She is a sweet and colorful calico cat. She was spayed at about 1 year of age, before I adopted her.

The main thing I want to advise you is that cats are domesticated animals. That means that humans have decided to take care of them, tame them, and enjoy their company. Humans are not “playing god” to spay or neuter animals, we chose to be in charge of their health and happiness. Spayed animals have fewer illnesses and don’t have to have litter after litter.

Inside cats tend to live about twice as long as outside cats, and they won’t ever just leave and you have no idea if they are hurt, dead, or kidnapped.

One female cat can have as many as 3 litters a year, beginning at about 6 months old. If they have an average of 4 kittens per litter, in a lifetime (15 years), Lucy can have 180 kittens. If all of her kittens have kittens and they have kittens, you are looking at 420,000 unwanted kittens, according to Calculate This! THAT is mean to your cat and all abandoned cats who already need homes.

Kittens are not easy to find good homes for. Kittens are cute for a month or two, and then they start tearing up papers, jumping on tables, knocking over plants, climbing curtains, and other destructive and unfunny activities. You have not lived until you hear a cat screaming all night to get outside to the honey waiting for her. They don’t just scream, they also scratch, fight, bite, and try desperately to get out. It is a pitiful sight.

If you DO let her out, she will have random kittens, not cute, fluffy kittens, since you have no idea which cat is the father. If they turn out to be black short-haired or tiger-striped, they will end up in the shelter, since many people don’t want them.

Please be a responsible owner, and spay your beautiful cat, love her, and take the best care of her you can. She deserves that.

Dear Aunt Gabby,

My daughter, Barbie, is 20. She lives at home and works part-time. She is a good girl. The only problem we have with her is that she is always bringing people home to live with us for “a while.” Most of these kids were raised by wolves. One took long, hot showers and left the bathroom a wreck. One of them stole our new camera and a tablet. One bought meth in my front yard! One stole our car. Another one tried to do dishes and didn’t know how. She broke several bowls and flooded the kitchen. Some “forget” to pay any rent. They all eat like they have tapeworms, and never do their laundry. What am I to do?

Good Samaritan’s Mom.

Dear Sam,

Your daughter should thank her lucky stars that your home is so much better than the wolf dens her friends came from. I think you should appreciate that she wants to help people whom she thinks need a little help. She sounds like a generous and loving young lady.

Apparently, Barbie’s judgement needs some work. This is where you come in. Tell her that from now on, she cannot bring her strays home unless you have met them first— before they bring their dogs, drugs, and dirty clothes for you to fix. Tell her that you have new standards for her sleepovers. Set up whatever standards you want, but stick to them.

If she brings someone home without your permission, send them both to a motel. Have her pay for her indiscretion. Good luck.
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Aunt Gabby

Aunt Gabby

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