Story by Jon Stalnaker AKA The Studebaker Dude
I am way too good at procrastination. I could easily be the president of the Master Procrastinator’s Club if I would only get around to joining the group. I’m not bragging you understand; it’s not a quality that I am proud of, but I can confess that it is a skill that I possess in abundance. I have a to-do list that is long enough to keep me busy for the remainder of my retirement years. While I don’t know everything about anything, I do have some limited skills and am not a complete stranger to the many tools I possess, some of which I have yet to use, even though I have been longing for years to master their usefulness. I so respect organized people, you know the kind where there is a place for everything, and everything in its place. I would love to be that guy.
If you look at the workbench in my garage, you will know that I struggle to put things away as it is overflowing with stuff that may have a place, but it’s on the bench instead of where it should be. One of my favorite mottos from my dad was “the job is not done until you clean your tools and put them away”. I love that and try my best to live by it but I fail way too often. Just look at my workbench. I have my moments though. Every once and a while, I will create a clever way to organize all the little stuff, so I don’t spend a whole day looking for the right size screw, nut, or bolt. It’s a handy thing to have but it requires dedicated maintenance, which is one of my shortcomings. I’ll let it get sloppy until it becomes a big mess and then I will spend hours cleaning it up, or I will get frustrated and allow it to get messier. Junk drawers are a terrible thing.
My wife will ask me to fix something that I definitely have the skills and abilities to do. I agree and most times I can git-R-done. The problem is that it sometimes becomes weeks, months, or even years before I can cross it off my honey-do list. I’m not proud of that. There’s an old joke about a husband that was complaining about his wife always nagging him about not finishing something he promised to do. He snapped at her saying “I told you I would do that for you—you don’t have to remind me every six months!” Sadly, I have been guilty of doing that very thing. (I’m talking about the procrastination part, not the part where I mouth off to my wife; I’m not THAT stupid).
On the bright side of this syndrome, there is a real feeling of accomplishment when I get something done. I know how pathetic that statement is, but it’s true. I’m retired and have been for some time now. I have no valid excuse for not getting more done around the house. It’s just that I get overwhelmed about all the stuff I should be doing, instead of just doing a little bit every day. I’ve considered getting a large calendar and spreading out things to do on a schedule. I’m talking about changing batteries in the smoke alarms, draining the hot water heaters, changing filters and things like that. I do get them done but not necessarily when they should be done. Usually, it’s when it is overdue. And typically, after being reminded by my wife. She doesn’t nag me about it, and I appreciate having her remind me. Too bad for me, she usually reminds me when we are climbing into bed or on our way to Costco. If I get reminded while I’m just watching TV, I can stop what I’m doing and do these simplest of tasks. I should be (and am) ashamed of myself that I can’t remember to do these things on my own. Is that a man thing, or am I just dumb as a rock? Don’t answer that.
I have the time, I have the skills, and I have plenty of tools, but I can’t explain why I need help with such matters. I can’t express enough how much I appreciate having a wife that helps me with these things. And she rarely gets mad about it. If she ever does, I totally deserve the stink eye. This isn’t something that just came about because I’m retired, I’ve been this way most of my life. I make no excuses, and I am aware that this is nothing to brag about. We all have our burdens to carry, this one is mine.
