Story by Jon Stalnaker AKA The Studebaker Dude
I listen to a lot of music when I work out, and I work out a lot. This morning, I was listening to my Stray Cats CD and the last song on that disk is called Elvis on Velvet. I got to thinking about my relationship with the King of Rock and Roll. No, we are not family, but I was just a toddler when he hit the big time and he has been an interest to me since around kindergarten. Being the kid brother to three sisters, I was no stranger to his body of work. I can clearly remember when he was drafted into the Army. I remember his return to the record world and his “not-so-great movies”. I was finishing high school when he made his comeback special in December of 1968. I never considered myself a super fan of Elvis, but I found it amusing to make family and friends think I was. I remember passing roadside vendors selling pictures of Elvis painted on black velvet. I always wanted to stop and buy one, not because they were fine art, but because it was the kind of art that I could put in my house just for the amusement of watching the faces of people who saw it. My kind of humor. I never got around to getting a velvet Elvis painting and before I knew it, I couldn’t find them anymore.
One of my favorite things about Elvis was the newspaper stories about his shenanigans. I loved all the stories about him randomly buying people Cadillac cars. My favorite was when he was in his penthouse suite in Vegas. He could see the Cadillac dealership from his room and he called the dealership telling them he wanted 11 new Cadillacs delivered to the hotel within a small amount of time. He and his Memphis Mafia buds were entertained watching the dealership scrambling to get the job done by his deadline. They got it done and they all went down to the valet area to watch as they all pulled up. His buddies asked him “what are you gonna do with all these cars?” Elvis gave them to the valets and baggage handlers working that day. He did stuff like that all the time and I always admired his generosity and sense of humor. Another story that got my attention was during his martial arts period. He was riding in his limousine when he saw someone getting beat up by by a bully. Elvis stopped the car, got out and chased the offender away. I read one time that when Elvis died, he had a small amount of money in his savings account, but a huge amount in his checking account. They say that was a representation of how he lived. I could go on and on with these stories. He was just a good ole boy that made more money than he could spend and liked to do good things for people.
Carlene and I were married by an Elvis impersonator in Vegas. I had a T-shirt that said, “Nobody Knows, I’m Elvis”. I named my dog Elvis even though she was the wrong gender. As a Karaoke DJ, I sang a lot of Elvis songs and even had the Elvis sunglasses to wear for the show. When I was sent to Louisville on special assignment for the post office, I was too close not to visit Graceland. It sure sounds like I was an Elvis fan. I suppose I was. It was fun, especially because people expected it from me. I suppose I got a little carried away. When the Elvis stamp came out at the post office, I bought a postcard and put the Elvis stamp on it. I addressed it but did not put it in the mail. I had access to all the rubber stamps, so I round dated the stamp with the date and then put a “return to sender, address unknown” stamp on it. I don’t have it anymore, too bad, that was a cool souvenir.
We used to go to Vegas frequently and they had a booth that would take a picture of you and photoshop your face on one of the many backgrounds you could choose from. Of course I had to get a picture of me as Elvis. I still have that one. It came out pretty good and I had it fancy framed up. When it came to picking out the matting I chose a black velvet mat. It’s on the wall next to my piano. I finally got my Elvis on Velvet picture…
