Story by Jon Stalnaker AKA The Studebaker Dude
Henry Ford didn’t invent the automobile, but he certainly deserves the credit for getting them in the hands of the masses. He also gets credit for creating the assembly line method of manufacturing cars, but that idea came from Ransom Olds. Henry Ford certainly perfected the idea and drove the price of a brand-new Model T Ford down to a thrifty $260, making it affordable for nearly everybody. His automobile was so successful that he sold 15 million of them. When it was time to advance the technology, he resisted. He didn’t want to mess with the success of the Model T and his son, Edsel Ford, took some abuse from him for even suggesting such an idea. But Edsel was right, and Henry eventually acquiesced, and the world was introduced to the also successful Model A Ford. There remains today a huge following of Ford fans, many of whom are multi-generational “Ford only” families. I apologize to my Ford fan friends, but I have never been a fan of Fords. I can’t explain why but I don’t remember any Fords in the many many cars my dad owned. I’ve considered buying a Ford but never have. (not that there’s anything wrong with them).
The early Fords were good cars, but they were primitive technology and subject to breakdowns. Henry Ford’s response to that criticism was to publish joke books about problems with his cars. One of my favorite jokes from these books was a claim that Ford magnetized the differential on the Model T so that it would pick up any parts that happened to fall off. It wasn’t true, but it was funny. People would say that FORD spelled out “Found On Roadside Dead” or “Fix Or Repair Daily”. However, many fans of Fords took exception to these jokes and came up with their own definition of what FORD stands for. If you saw the old movie Ford-V-Ferrari, you will understand their favorite version being “First On Race Day”.
I’ve seen others describing one’s favorite or least favorite brands. Some of my favorites are included in this story and some of these I made up myself. I’ll try to work a few in, see how many you can find. Some will be obvious.
I used to have a fine Italian sports car that broke down a lot. I was always taking it back to the dealer where I would ask my favorite mechanic to fix it again, Tony. I got so frustrated by that car that I bought myself an exclusive British sports car. That didn’t work out for me either as it had lots of trouble, usually serious. I really liked British cars though, so I bought another one. It was just another gorgeous unique automobile, really. When Japanese cars first came out, I needed a second car, something economical. I saw an ad for one that was designed to take over your other transportation activities. It was a great car. When Korean cars hit the market, I talked my wife into one of their compact cars. She drove it for a month and hated it. She told me to keep it away. They’ve gotten better over the years. If you like muscle cars you might like cars from Chrysler. I’m not into them much, as they are for mostly old people and rednecks.
Being a Studebaker guy, I felt challenged to come up with something to describe my favorite car. Talk about automotive brand loyalty; I can freely admit that I am not just someone that likes Studebakers, I confess to being a studeholic. And I didn’t want to leave it to someone that doesn’t like my favorite car as I know there are those haters out there. I don’t understand it, but I know that element exists. My definition of Studebaker is Stylish Transportation Used Daily Everywhere By All Kinds Even Royalty. I made that one easy to see by capitalizing each letter in the name. You will have to search for the other ones in my story. BTW, I got my acronym for Studebaker published in the magazine “Old Cars Weekly”, many many years ago. I have a copy of that issue around here somewhere.
You can find Fiat, Lotus, Jaguar, Toyota, Kia, and Mopar in the silly little paragraph above. If my examples offend you, please forgive me. It’s all in good fun – don’t be hatin’…
