Story by Jon Stalnaker
AKA The Studebaker Dude
Since this is a written work, I must first define the word “primer”. If I was telling you this story, I would pronounce the word as if it were spelled with two m’s. That’s the way I have always heard it pronounced as I am talking about an elementary textbook and not a base coat for painting. If you google this word, you will find plenty of explanations about the word that comes to mean two apparently different things. If you grew up in the UK, you could be confused as they do not have different pronunciations for the different meanings. The adjoining text will explain the appropriate meaning clearly enough. The definition of the “primer” of which I speak is an introductory book or explanation (to a complex subject for example).
I have never seen or read a primer on “Aging”, but that doesn’t mean it does not exist. If it does not, perhaps it should. I would certainly have learned many a thing that would have prepared me in the journey to my current stage in life. Instead, I have learned these things through the “School of Hard Knocks” which is ALWAYS the hard way. I tried Google for information about a primer on aging and only found a few that covered some of the effects of aging but not on aging in general. I would write one myself, but my writing skills are replete with self doubt. But I’m willing to take on the idea of such a valuable resource for the masses. Unfortunately, the audience I have in my small circle of readers is severely limited.
What would the target audience for such a book look like? When do we become senior citizens? Should an aging primer be given out to ALL people at the time of their retirement? My first retirement happened at the tender young age of 55 years and 4 days. I certainly didn’t feel like an old guy back then. I didn’t even freak out on my 60th birthday. I didn’t start feeling old until I hit the magic number of seventy… Perhaps that “slap in the face” was the trigger for my fear of aging. I could be wrong, I’ve certainly had a life full of incidents of error, I feel confident that I have a long, long list of times when I have been wrong. But I’ve always considered them to be opportunities for learning, and changing, and growing. But they have always been presented through that dreadful School of Hard Knocks. If I’d had the benefit of reading The Aging Primer, I could have saved myself from going through the painful part of the process.
I will use my move to Oklahoma as an example. For decades, I dreamed about moving away from expensive California and using that hard-earned equity to make a better life in another state. I always dreamed about having acreage and/or a property where I could live off the land. I dreamed of growing my own food, and raising chickens, cattle, and various other critters. It never came to be when I was young enough to be able to tackle the workload, but the idea was still in my head. I think most people my age would agree that inside our heads, we are still young and strong.
When we started looking for a homestead in Oklahoma, these dreams were still active. But my wife and I agreed early on that we would pray and ask God to open and close opportunities for us. We looked at many of the properties that I always wanted but thankfully God answered our prayers and we ended up with what we needed and not necessarily what we were asking for. We both knew that God was good about things like that and He didn’t disappoint. My daughter, who is more than 20 years younger than me, allowed me to see the farm of my dreams and live the life that I perhaps could have done 20 years ago.
I thank God that I did not buy into that lifestyle because it would have been way too much for me. I see, through her and her husband, how difficult that life is and I appreciate being able to share that only vicariously through them. Had I been able to read the Aging Primer, I would have known that up front, and not come close to making a big mistake. The biggest roadblock I see in such a book is that we don’t recognize that we are getting old until it is too late and we are at or near graduation status from the School of Hard Knocks. I still think it would be a great book and should be required reading before we find ourselves in our retirement years.
