Dear Aunt Gabby,
I’ve been on three dates with Dana (24 years old) who is tall and elegant, athletic, and smart. She has one major flaw that’s a deal-breaker. About every other word out of her lovely mouth is a swear word or curse. She doesn’t care who hears her or what she says. It is so embarrassing! I don’t know what to do about it.
Call me Blistered Ears.
Dear Blistered,
She sounds like a perfect young woman with a “speech impediment.” If you really like her and want a further relationship with her, you should ask her if she knows how she sounds. If not, just pass. She may have no idea how awful you think it is. She may be nervous and laying it on thick. She may have an illness or an easily-corrected habit.
In the English language, profanity was first a Biblical prohibition. (The upper class were almost always Christians). Over the years, profanity (or foul language) expanded to include vulgarity. People with education and position would not use words considered vulgar (or common). Back then, “common” people had limited vocabularies, or they were religious and chose not to swear at all. Some languages have no words which are considered profanity. Some people think “heck” and “darn” are evil.
A child may hear swearing at home, and it is normal to them until they get to school, when they are embarrassed and corrected. Swearers know the words they use are shocking or aggressive and don’t care what others think. Sometimes, people swear and curse to express emotions that overwhelm them.
It doesn’t matter what her reasons are, it usually doesn’t work for a casual date to correct a friend’s behavior. She may dismiss you as a “dork” or “killjoy” or “prude.”
My best advice is to ask her why she does it and express that you are interested in her, but ”bombs” are a turn-off. She may adjust her verbiage, if she is interested in you. If not, leave her alone.
If someone out in public anywhere is scorching your ears, you may explain that it is offensive. Be prepared to get your ears pinned back.
Freedom of speech includes the freedom to be offensive and offended.
Your Aunt Gabby
